Certifications, job promotions and titles.
I have achieved these over and over again.
All the while, never really asking myself if it was what I really wanted.
It felt good to achieve these goals and feel successful, but what I have soon realized was that it was never out of passion. I just knew it was good to achieve them . It looked good to achieve them. It made me feel validated.
I never realized it then, but validation was something I craved. I needed it to feel like I mattered.
It was my way of proving to those around me that I was here. I was valuable. I was present. I had purpose. I am worthy. I matter.
Once I realized this pattern, I knew it was important to figure out when it started and how it even came about. I could trace this need for validation as far back as I can remember. In our traditional Hispanic culture, the voices, ideas and thoughts of children are merely celebrated. This is most evident if said child was first generation American (me!).
My parents worked tooth and nail to survive in a country that was new in all things language and culture. Growing up, their main concerns were caring for their siblings and making sure there was dinner available. Cut to 25 years later and having a 7 year old daughter tell them that she didn’t appreciate the way she was yelled at in front of her family earlier that day, because it felt embarrassing and condescending.
I’m pretty sure their response was something along the lines of “I’ll show you condescending…(while grabbing the nearest ‘chankla’ [sandal])” Haha.
My parents loved us unconditionally. They provided a life to live wanting nothing that wasn’t essential. They tried their dang hardest to understand American culture while raising myself and my sister. However, patterns are hard to change, especially if one is unaware of them.
No matter how hard I pleaded, raised my voice and stomped my feet, I couldn’t get the validation of my thoughts and feelings that I was striving for, and it left me feeling frustrated, and a tad insignificant. These experiences and memories have changed the course of my life through habits and patterns that constantly sought out validation and praise.
When I was finally able to trace back the source of my habits and patterns to my childhood memories, it was the best “ureka” moment. First and foremost, I developed compassion for my parents because I knew in my heart that they only did nothing short of their best to raise my sister and I. Secondly, I was finally able to start healing those wounds and start changing my current habits and patterns.
Moving forward, I only choose to do things that ignite my passion and soul. Things that give me chills with excitement. Things that are FUN! I am making decisions because they genuinely make me happy, and not because I feel as though I need to prove something or receive validation for my efforts.
I encourage you to open up.
Allow yourself to feel safe to go back to those hurtful, shameful memories that have been dictating your life decisions. Feel safe to go back to your roots so you can heal from them , offer closure spiritually, so that you can change the energy of your thoughts and habits, and then your physical, mental and emotional health can follow and thrive.
Allow yourself to feel and heal and watch the magic happen.
Digging deep and opening up room in your heart for healing and growth can feel overwhelming and emotional. It’s important to have a grounding routine and support system through your healing journey.
I have created a sacred, women’s only Facebook group, as a way to hold space for vibrant women who are reconnecting to their true identity and purpose and life. For women who are reclaiming their power and are ready to do epic sh*t.
I invite you to join our sisterhood where we raise our own vibrations.
Being an introvert does not mean you have to play small.
You don’t have to be loud or aggressive to get what you want in life. You just need to be true to you.
There was a time when I didn’t think that was true. I would see people come into a room and simply dominate it. People would hang on their word, give them positive attention and appreciate their presence. I used to think that by coming in strong and loud, that could warrant the attention and respect. Funny how it never worked out for me that way when I gave it a whirl here and there (to make matters worse, I am an introvert through and through). Forcing myself to appear big, loud and obvious made me feel phony and disconnected. I hated every minute of being in an environment where I felt I had to try to be someone that I knew I wasn’t.
What I didn’t realize then was that those people didn’t attract attention by the decibel in which they spoke, or the clever jokes and conversations they would have, they attracted the attention because of their energy. They were true to themselves regardless of the environment. They were showing up as themselves. Their true, authentic selves.
So regardless of your personality trait, your social environment or your hobbies, please know that its how you show up that attracts what you desire in life.
You can still be your introvert self and still be able to manifest all that you want.
Ditch the thought that you need to be someone that you know you are not. Sure extroverts get more attention easily, but it really all comes down to energy. Have you ever met an extrovert that was not being true to themselves? Instead they came from a place of insecurity and threat, and that would typically make them come off being annoying, rude and desperate. Energy is everything. It can ignite a room. So if you are coming into a room with an energy of discomfort, insecurity and desperation, your company is going to feel it too. Regardless of our personality.
Being authentic is the strongest tool you can posses to reap what you want and deserve.
You have heard of the phrase “your vibe attracts your tribe”, right? Be true to you, and your authenticity will shine through your energy and aura. As per law of attraction, “like attracts like”, so sit back and watch your energy become a magnet to your desires.
As an introvert, you don’t have to step out of your comfort zone and be someone you are not. Simply be clear on who you are and what you want. Stay true to who you are and don’t settle or back down. If your energy is authentic, your energy is loud and clear.
Relationships, business, job opportunities, friendships, etc.. .you can manifest all that good stuff, as long as you stay true to yourself and your authenticity.
I am commiting myself to helping women become reconnected to their true, authentic selves. To become empowered to live their life that serves their own greater good. To learn how to trust and be guided by their intuition and be their own guru.
I have created a sacred facebook group that raises the vibration of womanhood and sisterhood. We talk all things self love, empowerment and reconnecting to your true authentic self.
I guide women to become reconnected to their true purpose in life and how to be guided by their intuition. If you love the idea of becoming part of a sisterhood that thrives in this type of energy, I invite you to join us: RAISE THE VIBRATION NATION
The more I keep hearing “Be your own guru”, the more it continues to resonate with me. Hard. Who better knows what is best for you than….you?! Sounds like a no brainer, right? However, if you are or were anything like I was for the past two decades, you might feel as though this concept was unreachable. Foreign, even.
I had very little connection to my true identity and purpose. All I knew was that I had very little self confidence, and seeking approval and validation from others made me feel better. I based my life decisions and behaviors based on that. A total people pleaser, which is really just a nice way to say “a total pushover”. Man I used to get so mad when people would call me a pushover, but that is what I was because I didn’t know anything else. So how could I have possibly become my own guru if I didn’t even know who the heck I was?!
It has taken A LOT of deep healing, soul searching and digging deep to uncover my purpose and truly embrace my own identity. I am gradually becoming my own guru and it is the most empowering feeling!
I have learned to really become tuned into all of my energies – the good, the bad, the anxious, etc.. I sit with these feelings and I try to find the source of the imbalances. I am learning to not only trust my intuition, but to also let it GUIDE me in all of my life decisions and behaviors. I get to call the shots, because only I know what is best for me. Not society. Not my parents or my friends.
And how beautiful it is to be guided by unconditional love from our spirit friends, so strong and caring that our intuition can pick up that energy so easily. Its just really up to us to be connected to that energy – that feeling of unconditional love. That feeling of just knowing that this is the right choice, the right path, the right thing to do, and going with that gut feeling, because your intuition will never lead you wrong. Your spirit guides will never lead you wrong. They only want the best for you – they only want to guide you down your destined path, and you can tune into that guidance by your intuition.
I encourage you to embrace becoming your own guru. Be your own expert. Tune into your energies and honor what it is trying to tell you. Do what you KNOW is the right thing for yourself. Be yourself and put yourself first, without apologies or explanation.
Only YOU know what is best for you. You are your own expert. You are your own guru.
What does being your own guru mean to you? What are some barriers that might be keeping you from becoming YOUR OWN expert?
I have been a bit quiet with my writing and for once its not because I am afraid to share my voice.
I have started my deep energy healing full throttle since January, and it is STILL going strong. As I continue to journal, meditate and grow, it feels as though I am peeling off a new layer of my true, authentic self. A part of me I never knew existed. It’s like I am meeting this new part of me for the first time, and learning that we are going to be life long friends. I want to get to know this new part of me. Be kind. Smile. Ask questions. I want to get to know her reaction to certain situations. I am learning how she grounds herself when shit gets stressful. I am loving every moment of watching her walk tall, proud and confident. It brings me the most immense pride seeing her act upon her intuition and gut instinct, instead of what she thought was the “right thing to do”. I love this new part of me, that isn’t really new. It was just buried. Covered.
You see, I never really truly embraced my authentic self. I was always too concerned about what everyone else was thinking, and was too busy being a people pleaser. I had a hard time putting myself first, speaking my truth, and owning my identity. Since I started my deep energy healing journey, I have been learning more about myself than in my 30+ years of life.
It’s fun! I am enjoying the process. Kinda like trying on the perfect pair of shoes, haha.
This weekend I had my Reiki 2 attunement. I cannot wait to start serving as a healing vessel for this world. I am immersing myself in all things chakra balancing, energy healing, channeling and third eye development. This journey feels like it was mine all along, because it WAS mine all along. I’m so happy I am listening to my gut and doing what feels right for me.
I have been doing some deep channeled writing and automatic journaling. I am excited to continue to share words of love, healing and light. Our world needs it.
I always used to be obsessed with journals. I guess it was the universe’s way to tell me to start writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper so I can facilitate my own healing. However, I would never write in them. I would probably fill out a page, at most, but then leave it at that. I couldn’t even re-gift it if I wanted to because I had already used one sad, lonely page. Yet the collection of journals continue to grow. For the past three months I have been undergoing some deep energy healing and it was benefited me tremendously, but nonetheless it’s still scary and doesn’t feel good, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s why I never wrote in all of those journals I have collected over the years. I think I just never really wanted to come face to face with my wounds and hurt from the past.
Alas, I’m a little more than halfway through my first REAL journal (read: committed to writing more than just one page) and I’m almost feeling a little sad thinking about the time where I’m finished with it and I need to move onto a new one. It is help me so much to come into light, facilitate my own healing, and really discover and uncover what has been brewing underneath and dictating all of my feelings, actions and life decisions thus far.
i’ve been able to receive clarity in my purpose in life, my passions and what really fuels my soul. I’ve been able to uncover all those old patterns and limiting beliefs that have been ingrained into my energy and my aura.
If you find yourself wanting to use journaling as a means to facilitate your healing and reflect, I advise the following:
Embrace it. Don’t be afraid of your thoughts and feelings. If they start to feel icky, fearful and uncomfortable, then there is a reason for that, and burying/ignoring those feelings and thoughts is not going to do you any favors. They will continue to reside underneath the surface and dictate your emotions, feelings, and life.
Feel all the feels. “You have to feel it, in order to heal it”. Sit with these thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge the emotions that come with it. Honor them. Its part of the healing process. If you have to cry, do it. If you want to punch pillows, go nuts (make sure it’s an ugly one). If you want to scream, get angry or resentful, feel it baby! Its alll part of the healing process and we need to feel all of these feels in order to heal. Make sure you are extra kind to yourself these days. Get pampered, drink nourishing teas, adorn yourself in comforting clothes and blankets. Watch feel good movies. Trust in someone to talk about it all. Get reiki healing. Make an appointment with your therapist. Take care of you!
My favorite part about journaling: you can reflect. I love looking back a few weeks ago, or even months ago, and seeing where I was at that moment. I love seeing patterns in my thoughts that repeat entry after entry. Its my best way to gain clarity with what I am truly experiencing and feeling. Bonus: its a great way to write down some of your best ideas and have a moment of “dayum- I’m a freakin’ genius!”.
If you have a hard time journaling or don’t know how to start I recommend putting time aside for just 5 minutes in a quiet space. Just start writing what ever is on your mind- seriously, start anywhere, and just keep writing. Don’t stop. Even if you go on tangents, even if your thoughts are scattered- don’t judge, and just keep on writing. Eventually you will see that your subconscious thoughts will start to peek through, and you may find yourself writing about things you didn’t even know you felt or were thinking.
Also, feel free to use prompts, like questions or statements. “What made your eyes sparkle when you were younger?” “Choose 3 things you would like to accomplish this year.” Like I said before, just starting writing your responses to these prompts without judgement. Let that pen and your thoughts flow in unison and uncover the truth to many of your own questions.
Grab your journal and a pen, girl….its time to get deep and ask yourself the following questions:
What stories are holding you back?
Who are the people that made you feel less than and told you that you aren’t enough? Who made you feel small and insignificant and didn’t honor you in all of your beauty and glory ?
What are those memories that keep you small, ashamed and insignificant?
More importantly, why do you allow them to determine your worth? How you treat yourself? What you are truly able to manifest?
Why do you let yourself become identified by these past events?
Why are you a prisoner to past memories that no longer serve you?
I want you to find comfort that what is in the past is just that…the past!
It does not identify you- it does not determine your worth.
What you do right now- is a testament of your true self.
You have the present and the future to make your life what you want it to be- to break free from the chains of self limiting beliefs that serve you lies.
You are so much more than what your stories tell. The past is the past for a reason- we learn from them and we move on. We did the best we could and we know better now.
Its time to create new stories.
Its time to create new patterns.
You are meant for such greatness, and its time to shine bright and manifest all you have dreamed of.
Its time to honor your dreams, goals and desires.
To honor your true self. To celebrate your gifts, your light and your magic. The world needs you to be yourself and let your light and magic shine through. Its time to smash those past stories, memories and self limiting beliefs, because they don’t serve you. They never did. They never will.
Let us heal these wounds with unconditional love and intuitive guidance.
Kundalini. Kriyas. Auras. Sage (so much sage). Emotions. Healing. Discovery. Truth. Purpose.
I’ve been working with the brilliant Brianna Rose for the last 8 weeks and holy moley, its exactly what I needed! I plan to go into more details about it here and share it with anyone who can benefit from reading about my experiences.
I’ve been feeling the urge to start my own business for a while now. I’ve already had so many ideas, and along with that fears and doubt. I believe these ideas didn’t work out for two reasons:
1. It wasn’t my purpose, or my path. It wasn’t my truth.
2. I needed to do so much healing within myself, to even have the emotional and mental capacity to be a successful business owner.
yeah… deep shit, man. And also feeling reeaallyyy vulnerable as I share, but its all part of the healing process, so bring on all the feels. Anyway…
I am at a place where I am starting to embrace the healing process and my spiritual awakening at the same time, so I can function, heal and love from a super secure, high vibrational place deep in my heart, my inner truth, my authentic self.
I welcome you along my journey, as I surrender all fear, doubt and ego. I will embrace what I can no longer deny- I am here to help heal and make this world a better place.